Mads and Ev

T-Ball Medal on a Pirate

2011-11-17T15:59:00.002-05:00

3 And 1, Happy Birthday Carnival

2011-11-17T15:23:00.000-05:00

Bellefonte Carnival

2011-11-17T13:35:00.000-05:00

The Potty Book

2011-08-05T14:57:00.001-04:00

Fourth of July

2011-07-25T16:57:00.000-04:00

Fireworks at PSU, and my really lousy attempt at taking pictures of them.

Fourth of July 2011

2011-07-05T12:54:00.000-04:00

Snow Shoe Carnival

2011-06-28T15:42:00.000-04:00

Nose picker.

Florida- Disney World

2011-06-25T15:42:00.000-04:00

Florida

2011-06-20T14:50:00.001-04:00

Florida- The Sand Bar

2011-06-18T14:22:00.001-04:00

Pictures of Pictures

2011-06-17T14:16:00.000-04:00

Now that's professional.

Food Thief

2011-06-17T14:13:00.000-04:00

Madelynn's Plants and a Panther Tattoo

2011-06-15T14:08:00.000-04:00

T-Ball

2011-06-11T13:51:00.002-04:00

Carnival

2011-06-11T01:16:00.000-04:00

Ev was in charge of keeping this lollipop safe while Mads was on the rides. She did a good job, right?

Fishing

2011-06-08T23:26:00.000-04:00

Mads was pretty disappointed that she didn't get to go fishing with Daddy on Monday, and has been pretty much begging to go for the last 36 hours. Fortunately, today was an awesome day for fishing so I didn't have to listen to her ~~incessant whining~~ adorable requests for too long.

Catching her bait.

She caught a trout and reeled it in by herself. I'm pretty embarrassed to say that I didn't get a video (or even one measly picture) of my first born catching her very first fish. My only excuse is that I was on Evelynn duty and that's a pretty hard job.

When Ev wasn't playing in the minnow bucket, she was either attempting to dive in the water or harassing Madelynn until she cried. That girl is really turning into a little ~~shitsmear~~ handful.

Damn the Dam

2011-06-07T09:31:00.001-04:00

While Jeff went fishing, I took the girls to the dam. After sunblock and a quick rundown of the rules and expectations for the three year old, we headed to the beach. I had my camera strapped around my wrist and Evie G. on my hip. As we neared the water, I placed Ev on the sand and got the Nikon ready. In the 3.5 seconds it took to remove the lens cap, Evelynn had ran full force into the water and was now face down and flailing. Panic. I grabbed the straps on her little bathing suit and hauled her out of the water. She looked slightly confused but unharmed. I starting digging the sand out of her nose and realized that Madelynn was now missing. Panic. After the longest 12 seconds of my life, I spotted her back at our blanket 200 yards away retrieving her sand toys.

This is when I realized that I have too many children. Or at least too many children to take to the beach alone. We splashed around on the edge of the water for about five minutes before I declared it off-limits.

I don't have many pictures to post, because as I said, I just couldn't handle it. Too many young kids, not enough parents. Lesson learned.

Children's Fair

2011-06-04T20:01:00.001-04:00

Today was Bellefonte's 63rd annual Children's Fair. Madelynn really, really wanted to get her face painted. She was like, pee herself excited. "I want to be a dragon! Can I be a dragon, mommy? Please-please? A dragon, blow fire!" Of course the line for face-paint stretched the whole way to Kentucky (I'm exaggerating, but it was hella long). We took our place at the end thinking it will go quick, how long does it take to draw a heart on a sweaty kid's cheek? Well this face-painting was much more elaborate than a shooting star across the forehead. This face-painting was professional. Kids walked out with full face paint, sporting butterfly wings with glitter and tigers with so much detail it took 12 different colors to get it just right. Realizing that we could be standing here for the next half hour, I tried to get us out before we got in too deep. "Are you sure you want your face painted, Mads? We could go pick a duck, there's no line..." No dice, the chick wants to be a dragon.

So Evelynn, she's tired. And pissy. She's kicking and screaming and punching Jeff in the head. I rock and sway, bounce and jiggle, push her up and down and up and down the block in the stroller. She's not having it, so I go back to the line that hasn't moved at all in fifteen minutes. Madelynn is getting restless, she's running into the people in front of her, whining and bashing her balloon off of Ev's tear streaked face, but unwilling to leave without her face-paint. Evelynn bit and popped her balloon animal and Mads is the saddest little girl in the whole universe, the only thing that will make her feel better is if she is a dragon. Jeff looks like he's about to snap. There are meltdowns happening with the kids in front of us and behind us, strollers are clipping our ankles as people cut through the line and some kid walked by with an ice cream cone, so now I really need a fucking ice cream cone. We stood in that line from hell for over an hour. By the time we were next, Madelynn had decided that she no longer wanted to be a dragon, she wants to be a puppy. Or maybe a butterfly. Anything but a dragon. Whatever, I don't want to talk about it anymore. Just tell the lady what you want and let's get the fuck out of here. Jeff is gone, he can't handle the line anymore so he's pushing Ev all over Bellefonte to see if she will finally sleep.

It's our turn! I'm doing a small happy dance as I help Mads into the chair. Smiling professional face-painter asks her what she would like to be. Madelynn is silent for a moment, then crosses her arms over her chest and says, "Nothing. I don't want to be anything." She refused to have her face painted.

You should have seen Jeff's face when Madelynn's unpainted cheeks came into view. I would have laughed if I wasn't so busy fighting back the tears.

A Swing Built for Two

2011-06-01T18:40:00.001-04:00

March 22, 2009. Ten months old.

May 29, 2011. Three years old.

Sadly, I think this may be the last year they will fit.

First Carnival of the Summer

2011-05-30T20:28:00.000-04:00

Mads was the only one who had fun, we had to literally drag her to the car. It was ninety degrees and Ev was over it within 20 minutes, just like Jeff and I. Mads won a blue baton and a massive blow-up hammer which she used to beat her too-hot and grumpy little sister. We should have went to the pool instead.

Mason's Dr. Suess B-Day

2011-05-30T20:21:00.000-04:00

T-Ball Three

2011-05-30T20:15:00.000-04:00

The best practice/game yet! There was no crying, no hiding behind anyone's legs and minimal whining! On first base:

Running home:

Totally paying attention on the field:

And the most amazing hit, all by herself:

Future T-ball star:

We had team pictures this day and guess who was smiling? Woot woot!!

2011-05-30T20:02:00.002-04:00

Picnic in the Park

2011-05-26T11:50:00.000-04:00

Munching on sandwiches, fruit and assorted animal shaped snacks.

Walking the tightrope.

I did it, yay!

How daddies play basketball.

T Ball 2

2011-05-26T11:31:00.000-04:00

If you read my first t-ball post, you'll remember that Mads spent the entire practice hiding behind Daddy's legs. When you spend an hour like that, any involvement is huge progress. On the field!!

Pissed that other kids keep catching the ball.

While she hid behind Daddy's legs again, I followed Ev around with the camera.

I hate my hat.

I hate this game.

And finally, batting.

Madelynn is an emotional roller coaster, having fun and then hating life. This t-ball business is exhausting. Still, so proud of her.

Stuck

2011-05-26T11:17:00.000-04:00

Ev

2011-05-26T11:16:00.000-04:00

Big Box

2011-05-26T11:15:00.000-04:00

Jeff came home with a massive box the other day. He cut a door and some windows, and it's probably Madelynn's favorite toy now. I decided to decorate.

Not long after adding flowers and a mailbox, Miss Evelynn came and ripped it all off. Now it's just a big ugly box again. Oh well, Mads doesn't care.

Bubble Bath

2011-05-26T11:11:00.000-04:00

Girls in White Dresses

2011-05-15T12:06:00.000-04:00

Birthday

2011-05-15T11:58:00.000-04:00

Mads has been obsessed with this animal hospital ever since the first time she played with Gabe's. She was so excited to open it.

T-ball

2011-05-15T11:41:00.001-04:00

Madelynn's first T-ball practice was on her birthday. Jeff and I were more excited than she was. I couldn't wait to get pictures of Mads with her glove, hitting the ball and wearing a helmet. It was going to be so cute. Unfortunately, none of that happened. Mads glued herself to Jeff's legs and whined and cried the full hour. She wouldn't put her glove on, never touched a bat and you couldn't go anywhere near her with a helmet.

She did participate in snack, sitting as far away from the other kids as possible.

Maybe next week.

Teeth

2011-05-15T11:28:00.000-04:00

Three top, three bottom!

Plate Art

2011-05-15T11:26:00.000-04:00

Lunch just tastes better when your plate is covered in watercolors.

Sidewalk

2011-04-28T00:43:00.000-04:00

Walking

2011-04-27T12:41:00.001-04:00

Don't worry, I fished that massive hunk of banana out of her mouth before anything bad happened. No babies choked to death in the making of this video.

3-in-1

2011-04-27T12:35:00.001-04:00

Our crib, although never used for sleeping, has proved useful. It's a great place to throw folded laundry when you're too lazy to put it away. A few days ago, I decided to put the laundry in the drawers where it belongs and turn the crib into a toddler bed. Maybe if it's a bed, we can get a child to sleep in it (I don't really care which child at this point, I'm just sick of sleeping with two sweaty kids all up in my arm-pits).

Now, I'm not super handy, but I like to think I'm pretty good at following directions. These directions had pictures, so how hard could it be? The first step is to disassemble the crib. Well that's pretty easy, I remove 5,000 screws and random metal pieces that I don't have a name for. It took forever, but in my defense, they hid the screws pretty darn well. Finally, I've finished step one and the crib is in a million pieces (including the hardware). Step two, connect the frame to the headboard. Sounds like another easy step, but which one is the frame? None of the pieces look even remotely like the frame in the picture, and I spent the next half hour trying to figure out how to disassemble further to make a frame. It's just not possible. At this point, I'm hitting things, throwing pieces around and sweating. I had partially ripped my instructions in a moment of frustration. Holding the pieces together, I finally see this in extremely small print:

Bed frame sold separately.

What the fuck? Are you kidding? 3-in-1 my asshole! False advertising! Shenanigans! BULLSHIT!

So anyway, I'm pissed and there's no way I'm spending the whole day putting the stupid thing back together. Want to guess what the crib is now?

If you guessed "big pile of crap," ding ding ding, you're the winner!

If you're looking for a 2-in-1 crib, I might know where you can get one.

Easter 2011

2011-04-24T23:25:00.001-04:00

Bunny prints and poop (Tootsie Rolls)!

Easter with Pappy

2011-04-24T23:08:00.000-04:00

Forward

2011-04-22T19:07:00.001-04:00

Nosy people love to ask, "Are you ever going to turn her car seat around?" They also assume that she must hate sitting that way, it must be uncomfortable, and my personal favorite, "don't other kids make fun of her?" Why yes, all those toddler bullies on the block throw rocks at her because of her car seat.

Obviously two years and eleven months of rear-facing is a hard habit to break. Sorry kiddo, you're at the weight limit and there's no "turning back."

That was last week so she's pretty used to it by now. She still asks occasionally if her seat can be like Ev's, but I think she really enjoys looking through the windshield. She likes to tell me what color the lights are and point to different signs and buildings. I like that I can see what she's doing, so when she starts beating Ev in the face with a board book, I can hurl threats into the backseat with ease. I'm a big fan of the convenience.

I'm worried about those bully toddlers though. Who will they make fun of now?

Love the Dance

2011-04-22T11:24:00.002-04:00

Hate the song.

Foiled

2011-04-22T10:18:00.015-04:00

My phone is a great source of frustration in our house. It's one of the girls' favorite toys and I really don't mind, evidenced by the fact that the vast majority of my apps are for children or babies. It's just unfortunate that we don't have two or three of them so no one has to fight for a turn (myself included).

Currently, there's a battle raging in the playhut. It appears that Evelynn, wise beyond her ~~years~~ months, has sought refuge in the tent to avoid any altercations during her turn.

Brilliant plan, until a thief sneaks in from the back.

The cunning Madelynn offers an imaginary trade. Here baby, let me distract you with this nothingness in my hand so that you may drop your guard and allow me easy access to your flashing electronic device.

The inexperienced Evelynn almost falls for it, but quickly recovers. Madelynn's next advance involves tattling, which proves fruitless. Now for a real trade, one princess lip gloss for one cell phone.

This time it works. Evelynn moves the lip gloss from hand to hand and quickly realizes that she has been bamboozled. What the hell does a baby need lip gloss for? Ev tries to trade back and finds her hands empty.

And now it gets physical.

I wish these pictures had sound. Mads is screaming, "It's my turn, Baby! Mine!" Evelynn, unable to form complete sentences just grunts and screeches in protest. It's the baby equivalent of a war cry.

Ev put up a good fight, but with the attention span of a goldfish, she just didn't have the stamina to continue. Madelynn is victorious and Evelynn can't remember what just happened.

I wish I could make a call, but it's not my turn.

Shit.

2011-04-19T23:19:00.004-04:00

So we're all in the car and I'm behind the wheel. Jeffrey and I are chatting about whatever and I'm driving around a really sharp turn. I wasn't going very fast, however Axeman is full of twists and sharp turns, and sometimes those curves and bumps get a little crazy. Soon to be three year old Madelynn in the back seat:

"We're going down! Shit! Oh shit!"

Oh my God. What did she say? I almost swerved right off the road. Jeffrey's jaw is touching the floor mat and my head is snapping from Mads to Jeff, back to Mads, back to Jeff and finally back to the road. After the initial shock, I had to literally bite down on my lip to keep from laughing. Where did that come from? Jeffrey and I spent the rest of the car ride arguing over who was responsible for Madelynn's outburst, and desperately trying not to giggle the whole time.

I have to admit, "shit, oh shit" could have been me. I've always been a fan of colorful words and it's hard to not use them sometimes. Like when the coffee pot overflowed last week and steaming, brown water poured down the cabinets and onto my right foot, I may have let out a, "Shit! Oh shit!" or two. Or worse, if I'm being honest. But seriously, I cannot remember ever in my entire life saying, "We're going down! Shit!"

Every time I re-read this post, I laugh my ass off. I'll gladly accept the "Bad Mommy of the Year Award" as long as I can cherish this little toddler-blurt forever, because that's some funny shit. "We're going down!"

Here's some G-rated conversations with Mads that I've posted on Facebook (so the anti-FBers can enjoy some of her non-vulgar silliness, too).

Mads: Mommy, there's chocolate on my window.
Me: That's not chocolate, babe. That's bird poop.
Mads: Bird poop!? Ewww! Birds need to poop in the potty, get tic tacs.

*Singing/screaming, "If I said I want your body now, would you hold it against me?" in the car.*
Mads: I don't like this song.
Me: I don't like your face.
Mads: I don't like your face or your body and I don't like this song!!

Me: Daddy isn't working today.
Mads: Daddy not working? He need batteries.

Mads: The baby doesn't share so I knocked her down.
Me: That wasn't very nice.
Mads: I know, she really mean. She need to share.

Pee: 28, Poop: 0, Tic-Tacs: 83,587,921

2011-04-19T22:30:00.006-04:00

You may have noticed in the photo bomb post that a certain someone was flashing their Blue's Clues underpants for the camera. Madelynn has been day trained and accident free for the past five days. Five days is like a lifetime when you're talking about pee-free laundry. She's still wearing a diaper at night, but the past two she has gotten up to tell me she needs to use the potty, which means she also needs to eat tic-tacs in bed.

Speaking of the tic-tacs, how long do I have to reward this chick for using the potty? Like, is she going to be 16 and asking for a new cell phone every time she takes a dump? The day I run out of tic-tacs will be the same day she pees on my pillow in retribution.

Anyway, we love the potty and we love tic-tacs bought in bulk. However, we don't love poop and poop hates the potty. In fact, poop has never even seen the inside of a potty. When I ask her why she won't poop in the potty, she says, "I just don't want to." Well shit, how do you argue with that? So to sum it up, no one is potty trained and everyone loves tic-tacs.

I'm filling the eggs for our family egg hunt with Minnie Mouse and Dora underpants. Maybe with the big bunny on my team, we can get the shit in the bowl where it belongs.

Another Park Photo Bomb

2011-04-19T21:43:00.002-04:00

Those first fifty pictures are humongous. I don't know what happened.

Best Friends

2011-04-19T21:38:00.000-04:00

Park

2011-03-30T00:25:00.009-04:00

These are from last week some time, I'm so behind!

The Step-Dive

2011-03-26T13:09:00.002-04:00

Excuse the messiest room ever, it's a weekend!

Pee

2011-03-25T13:06:00.003-04:00

The sweet sound of pee tinkling into the potty is music to my ears.

Mads: I pee on the potty get tic tacs?
Me: Yup, if you pee on the potty, you'll get tic tacs.
Mads: I get tic tacs now?
Me: No, you have to pee on the potty to get tic tacs.
Mads: I get tic tacs now and just hold them. No eat them, just hold them.
Me: Yeah right, kid.

Madelynn ran to get her sippy and chugged like I've never seen before. Ten minutes later:

Mads: I need to go potty, Mommy.

I set Mads down on the potty and instantly she peed the longest pee I've ever heard peed. We're talking, I've-been-boozing-for-the-past-three-hours-and-if-I-don't-break-the-seal-right-this-instant-I'm-going-to-urinate-all-over-myself kind of pee.

I gave that kid the whole box of tic-tacs plus an awkward hug before she had even finished. Tic-tacs are cheaper than diapers.

Fun at the Park

2011-03-22T19:27:00.009-04:00

With Cutie-Pie, Alyssa.

And Big Handsome-Boy, Gabe.

Eli was there too, but I won't have any pictures of him for a few days ;)

"I high in the sky!"

So to sum it up, great group of kiddos and the coolest Mamas on the playground.

Finally.

2011-03-19T12:25:00.010-04:00

A New Favorite

2011-03-19T12:20:00.005-04:00

♥ gluesticks.

My Bike

2011-03-19T12:05:00.006-04:00

Playing with the big kids.

And Ev with her best friend, Kendra.

Bed Head.

2011-03-19T11:57:00.001-04:00

Made-Up Babe

2011-03-19T11:49:00.003-04:00

Madelynn is constantly asking for make-up. After swiping a little shadow on her eyes though, she refused to let me take pictures of it.

It's on there though.

2011-03-19T11:46:00.000-04:00

Nine Month Well Baby

2011-03-17T14:04:00.002-04:00

Ev was great with the nurse, happy and cooperative. She's 17lbs, 9oz and 27 1/2 inches long. And then the Doctor comes in. Ev was still happy and cooperative, however, I was not.

We're talking about Ev's diet, breast milk and table food. The Doctor is concerned about iron, since she's not on formula and doesn't eat baby cereal. He says if she doesn't have enough iron, it can lead to development delays, both physical and mental. I chuckled a little at that, as he had just finished telling me that she was advanced for her age. I tell him that I'm not opposed to iron supplements if she needs them. They prick her finger and check her iron. This is what the man says to me, word for word.

"Her iron is low. I'm not convinced that she will be mentally retarded or anything, but you've definitely shaved at least two points off of her IQ."

Wow, that's a really bad joke. He better not quit his day job. I'm staring at him with my mouth hanging open, waiting for the rest, there has to be a punchline or something. He's staring back at me. This guy is serious. He just looked me in the eye and told me that I made my child stupid. I didn't know you could determine something like that with a finger prick. Who says something like that to a mother?

I feel like I lost two IQ points just sitting in a room with that guy.

Along with low iron, Ev also has a slight ear infection in both ears. It's funny that the Doctor never mentioned that recent ear infections can cause mild anemia (because infections decrease the production of red blood cells). I'll give Ev her antibiotics for the ear infection and I'll even supplement her with iron twice a day, however, I will NOT go back to that moron with a clipboard. It's obvious that he had really low iron as a child.

Playroom Evolution

2011-03-09T12:22:00.006-05:00

When Jeffrey and I first moved into this apartment, our spare bedroom was basically a junk room. It held boxes, a couch and love seat that we didn't use, and more often than not, piles of dirty laundry. Obviously this was a total waste of space and everyone knows when you live in an apartment, you can't really afford to waste space. We sold the couches and did the laundry, then I set out to turn the room into a playroom. However, the room is tiny, so it wasn't much starting out.

Pretty sad, huh? Adding a table and some wall art made little difference, and we never really used the space. It was a toy storage room instead of a room to play in.

I wish I had more before pictures, but as I said, we didn't use the room. You'll just have to trust me when I say that the room evolved into a very large closet filled to capacity with Madelynn's ever-growing toy collection.

The nursery was a huge room. It held a crib, changing table and dresser with a mile of floor space to spare. So one day, Kendra and I are sitting on my balcony and I'm complaining about my closet-playroom. And she says, "Why don't you just switch it with the nursery?" Oh my fucking genius. Why did this never once occur to me? Since no child actually slept in the nursery, it was a total waste to save the big room for diaper changes while piling the closet-playroom higher every holiday. Before Kendra had even shut my front door to leave, I had the dresser halfway down the hallway. So this is the closet-playroom turned nursery.

It's pretty much a perfect fit. There's plenty of space to change diapers and put the girls into pajamas after bath, and that's pretty much the whole purpose of a nursery for us.

The nursery turned playroom:

There's even a wall for Sprout the hamster in the new room. It's been a few weeks since the switch and I have to say, Kendra is the smartest person in the whole world. Yesterday evening, Jeffrey and Mads sat at the little table and colored while Ev and I sang really bad karaoke by the play kitchen. Even with our entire family in the room, there was still so much space that an elephant on a trike could have ridden through without hitting any of us. Yay for a room that you can actually play in!

Evelynn

2011-03-08T20:25:00.003-05:00

It's an Evelynn post because Mads spent two and a half hours like this today:

I'm still in shock. That child hasn't napped for months. Anyway, since Mads slumbered away the whole afternoon, Ev and I had a little mother-daughter bonding time. What exactly does bonding with an eight month old entail? Well, we sat on the floor and stared at each other, occasionally passing a toy back and forth while drooling down our shirts and shitting in our pants. So, the usual except one of us was taking pictures.

Plus one squashed video because ~~I'm a moron and I don't know how to hold a camera~~ I enjoy filming in portrait, rather than landscape.

Ev has been trying out the hands-free mode of herself for over a week now and it makes me excited every single time. Any day now, there's going to be a step, then two. Pretty soon, we're going to have something like this:

Wow, that seems like so long ago. I think my eyes are watering.

Egg Carton Bouquet

2011-03-04T13:00:00.003-05:00

Supplies: Egg carton, scissors, tissue paper, bendy straws and a vase. Cut out your little egg cups. Poke a small hole in the bottom of each cup. Push bendy straw through the hole and pull cup over the bend. Poke the straw through two squares of tissue paper and push over the bend (behind egg cup). Push straw through one square of tissue paper inside the cup. Hello, Spring!

Final step, clean up your damn mess.

Mads loves to smell flowers so I spritzed them with some flowery body spray. Cute and fun!

Hoarder

2011-03-03T13:57:00.005-05:00

So I bought this massive box of ice pops. My freezer is full of crap, so I shoved half in and left the other half in the box. The next day, the box lay empty by the door. I assumed Jeffrey had figured out a way to fit them all in freezer, so the box went out with the trash.

Now let's read a book.

Yup, in one of the book cabinets. Because that makes sense, Madelynn.

"You want an ice pop, Mommy?"
I prefer mine frozen, thanks.

2011-03-03T00:46:00.002-05:00

Pap ♥

2011-02-24T19:01:00.001-05:00

Marvin Thomas Meeker September 10, 1938 - February 22, 2011 Marvin Thomas Meeker, 73, of Bellefonte, died Tuesday, Feb. 22, 2011, at Mount Nittany Medical Center. He was born in Pine Glen on Sept. 10, 1938, a son of the late Leon B. and Jennie A. Robison Meeker. On May 4, 1957, he married Mildred Baney in Milesburg, she survives at home. Marvin was a chainsaw operator for many years for several tree services in the area until he was disabled in a logging accident. He served his country in the US Army, 3rd Battalion, serving in Berlin, Germany. Marvin enjoyed watching Evangelist, Pat Robertson and Oral Roberts on TV. He was an avid boxing fan and enjoyed listening to bluegrass music. He also enjoyed hunting, fishing, and working on cars. In addition to his wife, he is survived by three daughters, Lou Ann (Donald) Conklin, of Bellefonte, Nita Meeker (Jed), of Centre Hall and Tammy (Earl) Mitchell, of Howard; three sons, Thomas, of Bellefonte, James (Susan), of Bellefonte and Marvin Terry (Mary Beth), of Johnstown; three sisters, Pearl Merritt, Lovina McGonigal and Patricia Conaway; 11 grandchildren; and seven great grandchildren. He is also survived by his favorite little girl, Misty. He was preceded in death by a sister, Nancy Gaines. Calling hours will be Friday, Feb. 25, 2011, from 6-8 p.m. at the Kader-Neff Funeral Home & Cremation Service, Inc., 135 W. Main St., Howard. Private funeral and burial will be held at the family's convenience.

We Love Balloons

2011-02-23T00:48:00.002-05:00

And we love Dada, too.

2011-02-17T00:19:00.004-05:00

Valentine's Day

2011-02-15T23:41:00.004-05:00

Taking pictures of the girls started out pretty well. They were both in a good mood, playful and happy. It looked promising for sure.

And then Ev got a little out of hand.

So we took a break and tried again in a different location. A change of scenery usually helps them focus.

And then I gave up. Happy Valentine's day.

Teeth

2011-02-10T21:21:00.004-05:00

I am truly fascinated by the teeth sprouting patterns of my children. Starting at three months, Madelynn's teeth came in with a Noah's ark theme; two by two. Two bottom, two top, two bottom, two top until her mouth was just full of them and I stopped paying attention. I really liked it that way, matchy-matchy and predictable, themes make me happy.

And then you have Evelynn, not a tooth in her head for a full six months plus and then...

What the fuck is that? No top teeth, three on the bottom, and two of them are crooked as hell. Where's the theme? Where's the matchy-matchy? Where's the freaking top teeth??

So I consulted the google and my littlest is in fact a teensy bit unusual. The mandibular lateral incisors usually come in after the upper incisors. So I was feeling around her top gums and I was horrified when I felt two bumps where the maxillary laterals should be. If she gets those before her upper incisors...

She did bite me with that crooked mandibular the other day. She bit me hard.

Welcome to Cardboard Town

2011-02-10T13:31:00.004-05:00

Mean Girl

2011-02-10T13:12:00.004-05:00

Not Madelynn, she's just enjoying her AquaDoodle, minding her own business and humming an unidentifiable tune. That's when the mean girl shows up.

Hilarious.

Diaper Rash?

2011-02-08T15:22:00.005-05:00

You gotta let 'em air dry.

Snow Day

2011-02-07T15:20:00.007-05:00

How She Moves

2011-02-07T13:14:00.000-05:00

2011-02-07T12:53:00.000-05:00

Paint

2011-02-02T12:14:00.003-05:00

2011-02-02T12:11:00.000-05:00

Hard Questions

2011-02-02T11:11:00.005-05:00

Mads: What you watchin' Mommy?
Grey's Anatomy.
Mads: Daddy mad at you?
No, Baby, Grey's Anatomy. Not 'mad at me.'
Mads: Oh, Greys mad at you. Were you bad?
No, Babe, Uh-nat-uh-meee. Anatomy.
Mads: It's OK, Mommy. I not mad at you.
Thanks, Babe.
Mads: What you watchin' Mommy?

The Faces of Tub Time

2011-01-25T19:26:00.003-05:00

Bathing a slippery baby is hard enough in itself, so adding a toddler to the mix is just a big, wet mess.

As much as I dread 6pm tubby time, it's probably the girls' favorite part of the day.

And now I need to go clean the five gallons of water off the floor and hang the bath mat up to dry. Again.

Pictures

2011-01-22T12:41:00.004-05:00

Be honest...

Does my littlest look like Justin Bieber?

Big Girl Seat

2011-01-19T19:08:00.003-05:00

And of course Mads has to try it out as well, just to make sure it's a good one.

It passed the test. I was a little disappointed when I realized that I couldn't get the same car seat for Ev that Mads already has. I really, REALLY wanted them to be the same, however I wasn't willing to fork over an extra eighty big ones for a discontinued classic Marathon with an older manufacturer date. So, the Marathon 70 it is, and I'm only slightly saddened by the fact that it doesn't match. At all.

Oh memories. And can you believe how many teeth are in that child's head compared to Ev's single, half tooth?

Anyway, the new seat is pretty fabulous. It has more padding, a few extra convenience bells and whistles and higher weight limits (40/70 vs. 35/65). Best yet, it's on sale!!

Albeebaby.com and use coupon code BRITAX25 to save 25% on all non-discounted Britax seats.

Jump Around

2011-01-13T13:15:00.002-05:00

It's Back!

2011-01-12T21:36:00.002-05:00

Last winter, after all the holiday and new year excitement had died down, I started getting a bad case of cabin fever. In warmer months, our daily trips to the park kept me sane, I didn't realize how valuable that break in the day was until it was too cold to continue. Being cooped up with a toddler in an apartment for seven days a week is not a good time, in fact, it's my personal definition of hell. Then one day, I found my playgroup. Two mornings a week I was happy to set my alarm and drag my huge, pregnant ass out of bed to get to playgroup early. Mads and I both looked forward to play mornings, she was able to burn all that pent up energy and I was able to talk shop with a hundred other moms suffering from toddler-induced-mush-brain. And now, playgroup is back and I couldn't possibly be more excited!

If you want to find me in a really good mood, look for me on Tuesdays and Fridays until Spring!

Wordless Wednesday, Creeping 'Round Your Coffee Table

2011-01-12T17:20:00.000-05:00

I Just Used FUBAR in a Post

2011-01-07T00:54:00.004-05:00

The Blazer fiasco was a great way to kick off 2011. No full calender year can be perfect, it's just as well that we get the crappy parts out of the way early. With the Blazer's required documents turned into the police station, I avoided a $140 fine. So really, it wasn't that bad. Just a ton of embarrassment and a little hassle, nothing worth crying over.

It's the Kia that makes me want to cry. The Kia, so dependable, good gas mileage and a radio that works. It has never given me a problem before, never left me on the side of the road or forced me into a billboard. When the battery drained, I didn't think anything of it. A quick jump would have us back in business, an easy fix.

Jeffrey jumped the Kia the night of the Blazer incident. He had a hard time getting the hood open, but whatever, right? The battery would not hold a charge, so a new one was in our immediate future. Not an issue, batteries are cheap, easy to change, not an issue. However, the broken hood cable has proved to be a massive issue. I'm so angry. I went down to that stupid car last night, with a screwdriver and a pair of pliers, determined to get that hood open at any cost. I ripped the cable out of the pull and yanked until my arms were tired. Nothing. I stuck my hand through the grill, bruising my knuckles, and pushed the hood release farther than the bones in my hand would allow. Nothing. I kicked it, twice, not expecting much. I did feel a little better, but the hood was still firmly closed. I stood there and stared that Kia down while snowflakes whirled around me. And then, I just couldn't look at it anymore. Who would have thought one tiny cable could render such a complex piece of machinery absolutely useless. It's nothing but a toy car, too big to even play with, if you can't get the fucking hood open. I'm disgusted.

Driving THE BLAZER, with it's expired registration sticker and FUBAR radio might make me cry. If I get pulled over on my way to work tonight, I'm going to be prepared. License, temporary registration and an insurance card, safely tucked inside my bra.

Pretty Pirates

2011-01-06T19:57:00.003-05:00

When I tied the bandana around Madelynn's head, I hadn't even thought of playing pirate... but she did. "Arrgh, Mommy! Where's my sword?" With only one plastic sword in the house, I was forced to do battle with a paper towel tube. I laid out the rules before the duel; no hitting the baby, no throwing the sword, no aiming for Mommy's face. The rules were followed, however I endured so many pokes to the shins I now have bruises on both legs. Evelynn watched from a safe distance, using her toilet paper tube as a chew toy rather than the weapon it was supposed to be. After Madelynn's victory (plastic beats cardboard), I stuck the sword on the highest shelf I could find. What a horrible idea that bad been.

It sure made for some cute pictures though!

Late for Work

2011-01-02T22:18:00.007-05:00

Last night, we did a little grocery shopping. I carried the kids up and Jeffrey carried the bags and dipes. He went back for the massive bag of cat food in the trunk.

Today as I was getting ready for work, I realized that I was behind schedule. I needed to hurry up if I was going to make it there on time. Kiss the girls, kiss the husband, grab the keys. I'm in the Kia, waving up to Madelynn as she pounds on the living room window. I turn the key and nothing happens. The trunk light on the dash is blinking. It takes me about 45 seconds to realize what is happening. Jeffrey didn't close the trunk the whole way when he was getting the cat food last night, the light in the trunk stayed on, the battery drained. Curses. I ran back up the three flights to get the keys to the Blazer.

Short background on the Blazer, it took a shit a couple weeks before Christmas. All I know is the back end is bad and it will only drive in four wheel drive. I've only driven that massive hunk of metal once, it was for about three miles and that was back when it wasn't broken. I didn't care for it then, so you can imagine how I felt about it now. Until we can fix it, Jeffrey has been taking the Kia to work and the Blazer has just been sitting. Until today.

So anyway, I'm sitting in the Blazer and I'm running late. I can't figure out how to move the seat up, and I really don't have time to go back upstairs to ask Jeffrey. I'm barely over five feet tall and I have to pretty much lay down in this sucker just to stretch my leg far enough to reach the gas pedal. The radio only has one volume, super fucking loud, you can't turn it down or up or even off as far as I can tell. I can't imagine what I must look like, small girl laying in a big truck, jammin' out to Baby Got Back and veering to the right. Did I mention the Blazer pulls to the right?

I made it halfway to work before I saw the flashing lights in the rear view mirror. The fact that I saw them at all is truly a miracle, it's not like I was in any position to be using my mirrors correctly. While I'm waiting for the officer, I'm desperately trying to figure out what I did wrong. I wasn't speeding, I was wearing a seat belt, I wasn't swerving although I may have over corrected a few times when the truck tried to take me into a guard rail... The officer comes to my window and tells me that my registration is expired, hence the traffic stop. I'm cursing Jeffrey, registrations are his job. He renewed the Kia so I assumed that he had done the Blazer as well. The cop asks me to turn the radio down. "I'm sorry sir, I can't turn the radio down."

This isn't funny, so don't laugh.

The officer and I are screaming to each other over Willow Smith's new song. It never once occurs to me that I should just remove the key from the vehicle, and apparently, the cop doesn't think of this either. "Can you reach the pedals, ma'am?" I got this far didn't I? He wants my insurance card. Now this is something I can handle. Everyone knows that everyone keeps their insurance card in the glove box. I'm looking for the glove box, but the dash in front of the passenger seat is solid, there's no handle. Maybe the glove box is under the radio... but it's not. Maybe the glove box is under the driver's side dash... or not. "I'm sorry sir, I can't find the glove box." And this is when I really start to worry that I'm going to jail.

The cop goes back to his car and I continue to search for the glove box. Seriously, there has to be one. I'm pounding on the passenger dash when he returns. "The handle is on the top, ma'am." And it is on the top. The dash kind of curls at the top and the handle is behind that curve. And you know what really pisses me off? He knew it was there the whole time. I open the glove box and hand him the insurance card. You know, the one that expired in July? Fuck. I yank open the center console and there's a really important looking paper in there, so I shove it through the window at the officer. "Ma'am, why would you keep your title in your car? If someone steals it, they have the title, which means they have a new car." And I'm thinking, pfft, they can have it. I'm trying to explain that this isn't my car, so I'm really not familiar with it. He can totally understand that, right? "If this isn't your car, why is your name on the title, registration and insurance?" Well shit. I guess technically it is my car, I've just never driven it before.

I'm laying there, listening to Willow Smith whip her hair back and forth, and I just don't know what to say. After all of this, how can I possibly convince this guy that I am intelligent enough to operate a motor vehicle? "Could you please ask me for my license because I totally have that."

"Ma'am, you already gave me your license."

I have until Tuesday to show proof of registration... and I was late for work.

**I am fully aware that this is my fault. I drove a broken-down, illegal truck on public roads and I have learned my lesson.

***Edit to add: When I got home, I asked Jeffrey where he keeps the insurance card. It was in the center console the entire time... right under the title.

I'm Pretty Sure That's Going Straight to Your Thighs

2011-01-01T21:00:00.003-05:00

Crawl it off.

The Now

2010-12-28T12:51:00.006-05:00

Evelynn had a ton of firsts over this holiday season. She has her first tooth (bottom left), she can go from sitting to crawling and back to sitting again, she can pull herself up to stand and shove those nasty puff things in her mouth like a pro. She reaches her arms out to be held and gives the most wonderful hugs. She's a happy girl, always so sweet and bubbly. She stares at Mads pretty much all day long, watching how she moves and plays, listening to her constant chatter and silly songs. She's studying her, learning from her and trying to imitate her. It's really amazing to watch them, a toddler teacher eager to show her pupil the way of their small world, and baby student so attentive, taking it all in like a sponge. I thought Madelynn grew fast, but it seems that Ev is growing at warp speed, from blob with hair to capable and HUGE overnight. She's the most beautiful baby I have ever seen.

Madelynn jumps high and leaps long. She's a talker, her mouth never stops running. She can poop on the potty when she wants to (which has only been twice so far), and put the correct amount of toothpaste on her brush. She counts to twenty, identifies all uppercase letters and is about halfway on lowercase. She cleans up her toys and can find a missing cell phone or remote control in seconds. She's so helpful with Ev, retrieving diapers and wipes to clean her butt, handing her toys that are out of her reach and giving a kiss when she looks a little cranky. She can put her clothes on (although she prefers to take them off), put on her shoes and coat, and clip her own hair. She loves candles that smell good, taking pictures and eating pretend birthday cake. She says "thank you" and "please", "you're so very welcome" and "excuse me." She's the most beautiful child I have ever seen.

Christmas Day

2010-12-28T12:40:00.003-05:00

Half of the mess:

And out:

Christmas Eve

2010-12-28T12:29:00.004-05:00

Before Santa came. She's opening gifts from Abue and Pappy.

And after she went to bed.

Holy crap, how crooked is my tree?? It doesn't look that bad in person.

Miss Ev and Mr Claus

2010-12-28T12:05:00.003-05:00

Last year, we couldn't get Mads to sit on Santa's lap. She was terrified of the guy, and I didn't want to force it. This year, I tried to get her ready starting in November. We talked about Santa every day, we talked to him online, we watched movies about him, we love-loved that guy. When Jeffrey and I told Mads that we were going to see Santa, she was so excited. She talked about it all day long, "are we leaving yet? I want to see Santa! Tell him presents. See Santa?"

So we get to the mall and OMG there he is! Madelynn was jumping and pointing, "It's Santa!! It's Santa!!" We climb the stairs to see the big guy and...

Mads wouldn't go anywhere near him. Maybe next year.

And Ev? Well that girl just loves everyone.

Twelve Days of Christmas

2010-12-25T11:31:00.005-05:00

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,

A tricycle beside a tree.

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Two pairs of Robeez

And a tricycle beside a tree.

On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Three Leapster games,

Two tiny shoes

And a tricycle beside a tree.

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Four-thousand jumps an hour,

Three Leapfrog games,

Two mini shoez

And a tricycle beside a tree.

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

FIIIIIVE SCREEEEEEN PRINT TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!!!

Four million jumps,

Three fun games,

Two Robeez shoes

And a tricycle beside a tree.

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Six pop-up blocks,

FIVE SCREEN PRINT TEES!!!

Four hours to put together,

Three Leapfrog games,

Two little shoes

And a tricycle beside a tree.

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Seven gates for Furry Frenzies,

Six plastic blocks,

FIVE SCREEN PRINT TEEEEEEEES!!!

Four jumps a second,

Three overpriced games,

Two baby shoes

And a tricycle beside a tree.

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Eight lullabies,

Seven gates for hamsters,

Six pop-up faces,

FIVE CHILDREN'S PLACE TEES!!!

Four jumping jacks,

Three fun games,

Two pairs of pink

And a tricycle beside a tree.

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Nine things to spill,

Eight lovely songs,

Seven plastic gates,

Six pop-up pals,

FIVE LONG SLEEEEVE TEEEEEES!!!

Four hours of jumping,

Three Leapster games,

Two bitty kicks

And a tricycle beside a tree.

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Ten stacking cups,

Nine picnic items,

Eight soothing songs,

Seven gates of hell,

Six blocks on croc,

FIVE CLEARANCE TEES!!!

Four hours to put together,

Three game cartridges,

Two shoes per foot

And a tricycle beside a tree.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Eleven letters in Leapster Two,

Ten colorful cups,

Nine is easy to rhyme,

Eight, is that a seahorse?

Seven gates for Frenzies,

Six blocks to pop,

FIVE REALLY FUN TEES!!!

Four million jumps,

Three Froggy games,

Two little shoes

And a tricycle beside a tree.

On the Twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Twelve pictures of the ceiling,

Eleven letters because I cheated,

Ten plastic cups,

Nine items in the basket,

Eight lullabies,

Seven gates fell off already,

Six smiling blocks,

FIVE I LOOOVE THIS PART!!!

Four feet of space lost,

Three fun games,

Two freaking shoes

And a tricycle beside a tree.

There's more loot, however that wouldn't fit in my song. Next post, I promise!!

Happy Halfsies

2010-12-19T12:01:00.004-05:00

Happy half birthday to you,

Happy half birthday, dear Evelynn,

Happy half birthday to you!

Mads was such a good big sister. She sat and watched Ev open her present, and even let her play with it for a good three minutes before she stole the plastic cake and ran away. And the toy, well it's probably the coolest birthday cake toy ever made. The candles light up and then you can actually blow them out.

Happy Halfsies, Ev!!

Madelynn's half birthday post here.

The Card 2010

2010-12-18T01:20:00.006-05:00

I thought I was behind last year, but I'm cutting it way close this year. If I don't have these babies out by Monday, I might as well replace the tree with a creepy white bunny and call them Easter cards. I'm such a slacker.

Pssst... you can see the card from 2009 here.

Out of Season

2010-12-12T12:58:00.002-05:00

Blueberries... they're out of season, so frozen it is. Fun fact about frozen berries, they're wet.

First Came Love

2010-12-10T23:44:00.002-05:00

Then came marriage... and well, the rest of the song doesn't really fit but that's not the point. At exactly 11:30pm, I realized what day it was. It's our one year wedding anniversary and BOTH of us forgot about it. The only excuse I can come up with is stress. Holiday stress, blown-up Blazer stress, uncertainty of our future and "these kids are driving me crazy" stress. Add in the flying monkeys and a huge pile of laundry, it's not like you can blame us for pushing through this day like any other.

It is a little embarrassing though. Who forgets their first anniversary?

Happy Anniversary, Us. I'll put it on the calendar for next year.

Cookies

2010-12-10T12:18:00.005-05:00

Madelynn's apron:

(I cut it out of a pillowcase, haha.)

Bundled

2010-12-10T12:06:00.001-05:00

And not real happy about it.

This Sh*t is Bananas

2010-12-06T23:13:00.002-05:00

And she loves it.

Happy Girl

2010-12-02T23:48:00.002-05:00

Well she started happy, but then...

Why don't you tell us how you really feel about your big sister, Ev?

Chub-Chick laughing:

Ev's Favorite Game

2010-12-02T23:02:00.002-05:00